Posts

Burnout Didn't Kill My Creativity. Optimization Did.

  I used to think my ADHD brain was broken. Every productivity guru, every self-help book, every "successful entrepreneur" podcast told me the same thing: consistency is king. Show up every day. Build habits. Optimize your schedule. Track your metrics. So I tried. God, how I tried. I color-coded calendars. I downloaded apps that promised to "hack" my dopamine. I set alarms every two hours to remind myself to focus. I measured my creative output like a factory worker clocking widgets. I was trying to turn my wildflower brain into a perfectly pruned hedge. And slowly, quietly, my creativity died. Not from burnout — though that came later. My creativity died from optimization. From trying to force my neurodivergent brain into neurotypical boxes. From believing that my natural energy rhythms were flaws to be fixed instead of gifts to be honored. The Lie We've Been Sold The entire productivity world has convinced us that human energy should be as predictable ...

When the World Feels Too Heavy: Justice Sensitivity and the ADHD Entrepreneur

  I was supposed to be writing a sales page. Instead, I found myself rage-scrolling through articles about factory conditions in the fashion industry, my chest tight with anger and helplessness. The cursor blinked mockingly at me from the empty document titled "Why Choose Us?" How could I write about why someone should choose my business when I couldn't stop thinking about all the businesses that were actively making the world worse? I slammed the laptop shut. Again. This was my life for months—caught between the burning need to build something meaningful and the crushing weight of everything wrong with the world. Every time I tried to focus on growing my business, the emotional floodgates would open. Climate change. Inequality. The latest political nightmare. The small cruelties I witnessed daily that others seemed to shrug off. I felt like I was drowning in my own empathy. Like I was fundamentally broken as an entrepreneur because I couldn't just "focus on ...

Burnout Didn't Break Me — Years of Undiagnosed ADHD Did

  I was standing in my kitchen at 2:47 AM, staring at a mountain of unopened invoices spread across my counter like accusations. My laptop was dead—had been for three days—and I couldn't bring myself to plug in the charger that was literally two feet away from me. My business was hemorrhaging money. Clients were frustrated. I hadn't showered in four days. Everyone called it burnout. I called it burnout. But burnout suggests you were once burning bright, doesn't it? This felt different. This felt like I'd been running a marathon with ankle weights I didn't know were there. At 34 years old, six months after my business collapsed, I finally learned what those weights were. Undiagnosed ADHD. The Lie We Tell Ourselves About Burnout Here's what I thought burnout looked like: working too many hours, saying yes to too many projects, grinding until your body forces you to stop. Here's what my burnout actually looked like: spending three hours trying to write a...

The Blurry Space Between Burnout and Becoming (An ADHD Founder's Truth)

  I used to think burnout had a clear ending. Like one day I'd wake up and suddenly have energy again. The fog would lift. My brain would work the way it used to. I'd feel like me again. But that's not how it happened. The Space No One Talks About Three months after my business collapsed and I couldn't get out of bed for two weeks straight, I found myself in this weird liminal space. I wasn't actively burning out anymore. The panic attacks had mostly stopped. I could shower regularly and make basic decisions about what to eat. But I also wasn't... recovered. I'd sit at my desk with my laptop open, staring at a blank document for hours. Not because I was overwhelmed or overstimulated. Just because I couldn't remember what I cared about anymore. My therapist called it "the in-between." That blurry, exhausting space after burnout but before clarity. Where you're functional enough that people think you're fine, but you're still...

Unmasking ADHD in a World That Wants You Optimized

  I was 32 when I realized I'd been performing "normal" my entire life. Not the obvious kind of performing—the theatrical, look-at-me attention-seeking that people expect from ADHD. The quiet, exhausting kind. The kind where you build elaborate systems to hide your chaos, where you smile and nod when people praise your "organization," knowing full well you spent three hours yesterday looking for your keys while they sat in the refrigerator. The breaking point came on a Tuesday morning in March. I'd been running my design consultancy for two years, telling everyone how much I loved the "freedom" of solopreneurship. What I didn't tell them was that I was drowning. The Weight of Seeming Fine That Tuesday, I had seven client projects scattered across four different project management tools because I kept switching systems, convinced the next one would finally make my brain work "right." I'd missed two deadlines the week before—n...

What If I Lose the Chaos That Makes Me Brilliant? Ethical AI and the ADHD Mind

  It was 3:47 AM when I realized I'd been staring at the same Claude prompt for two hours. My brain was doing that thing again—the ADHD spiral where I question everything I've ever created, wondering if any of it was actually me or just a sophisticated game of digital dress-up. The blinking cursor felt like an accusation. The empty document, a mirror reflecting my deepest fear: What if the chaos that makes me brilliant is exactly what I'm trying to optimize away? This isn't another productivity hack article. This is about the messy, uncomfortable truth of being a neurodivergent creator in the age of AI—and the ethical minefield we're navigating without a map. The Seductive Promise of Digital Dopamine Let me paint you a picture of my life before AI became my creative crutch. I'd hyperfocus for 14 hours straight on a project that excited me, fueled by nothing but the electric buzz of a brain finally finding its groove. Then I'd crash for three days, unab...

Why My ADHD Brain Is Actually Ready for Quantum Computing (When Yours Might Not Be)

  I understand cryptography, but quantum-proofing a solo business? Here’s my real-world take... Last week, deep into researching post-quantum cryptography for my cybersecurity coursework, academic theory suddenly collided head-first with my entrepreneurial reality. Quantum threats went from abstract theory to alarmingly personal. My ADHD brain immediately sparked a mini-crisis: Sure, I get the technical side—but how does that actually translate to my one-person operation? Digging deeper, I had an unexpected realization: My chaotic, superposition-like ADHD brain might actually be an asset, perfectly suited for navigating this quantum transition. The Panic of "Should I Already Know This?" If you're like me, you understand quantum theory just fine, but bridging that gap between textbook knowledge and practical business protection is another story. Academic papers are great—until you have to translate them into something you can actually implement by yourself. Here's...